Kids are funny. At least mine are. Yours, not so much. No seriously, your kids need to go to comedy camp. The sooner you face up to the facts, the better.
Lately, the wee 2nd grader been having some difficulty at school with one of her classmates, and I asked her if she thought it would be helpful if she saw the school counselor.
Daddy: Do you think seeing the school counselor might be helpful?
Child: Well, that might be helpful. ...Except I don't have any idea what that is.
Daddy: It's a person at school that you go see if you need help or are having trouble with anything.
Child: OH! Our school does have someone like that. They call her the nurse.
Daddy: No, not the nurse. Here, this person. (gets out her school yearbook and pointing to the picture of the school counselor)
Child: Oh, her. I know who that is. That's the school camp counselor.
Daddy: Who's on first?
Also, she has been learning about compound words at school and she told me that she came up with a triple compound word. "Wow! What is it?" I asked. She answered "Catastrophe. Cat, ass and trophy."
One wonders what she thinks a catastrophe might look like.