Black Pyramid - Adversarial

Let me be up front about this. I didn't want to write a review of this cd. I had no choice.

Black Pyramid's latest effort, ADVERSARIAL, straight up kidnapped my dog, took out an advance on my 401K, gave me a stern talking to AND fucked me right in the goddamn ass.

I didn't want to like this album. I didn't even want to listen to it. In fact, I didn't. I tried to throw it out of the car, but it came back, like a Heavy Metal boomarang, and sliced my ears clean off. IT'S THAT GOOD.

Slower-er.

Well, this was a surprise. Live Slower footage on the youtubes. And I'm not even all that particularly embarrassed by it.

Bask in the glory of us dumbfounding fans of Stompbox with the noisy shenanigans of a group of musicians dead set upon alienating most of their fans.

Rest in peace, Mikey. You were a totally self-centered, hedonistic prick pretty much all of the time, but somehow completely lovable. I miss you.

"Esoteric Song" and "Kick Out The Assholes"


"I Can't Fight This Feeling"

There Seems To Be Some Confusion

Kids are funny. At least mine are. Yours, not so much. No seriously, your kids need to go to comedy camp. The sooner you face up to the facts, the better.

Lately, the wee 2nd grader been having some difficulty at school with one of her classmates, and I asked her if she thought it would be helpful if she saw the school counselor.

Daddy: Do you think seeing the school counselor might be helpful?

Child: Well, that might be helpful. ...Except I don't have any idea what that is.

Daddy: It's a person at school that you go see if you need help or are having trouble with anything.

Child: OH! Our school does have someone like that. They call her the nurse.

Daddy: No, not the nurse. Here, this person. (gets out her school yearbook and pointing to the picture of the school counselor)

Child: Oh, her. I know who that is. That's the school camp counselor.

Daddy: Who's on first?

Also, she has been learning about compound words at school and she told me that she came up with a triple compound word. "Wow! What is it?" I asked. She answered "Catastrophe. Cat, ass and trophy."

One wonders what she thinks a catastrophe might look like.

Songs More About Food Than Buildings

So, let's say you cook a lot.

Let's also say that sometimes while you're cooking you say to yourself, "I wish I had some songs about food to listen to while I cook."

Then let's further say you are one of the two to three people in the world that actually read this blog.

Come on. Let's say those things all together. En masse, as it were. No? I didn't think so.

So, anyway...

A couple few years ago, I made a "mix tape" of songs about food, or at least songs about food or things that can be made into food. Since I have nothing better to do with my life (I AM writing a blog after all, so you know I've got some spare time), I have uploaded this "combo-lation" into the ether and invite anyone who is interested to have a listen.

Tracks:

Egg Noodles and Ketchup

Angelina - Louis Prima

The Coffee Song -Frank Sinatra

Solid Potato Salad - Nat King Cole Trio

I Like Food - The Descendents

Big Butter and Egg Man - Louis Armstrong and His Hot Five

I'm a Chiquita Banana

Yes, We Have No Bananas - Louis Prima

Roly Poly - Bob Wills and His Texas Playboys

What's On The Menu?

If I Knew You Were Comin' I'da Baked a Cake - Bing & Bob

A Buhthday Cake!

Dos Tacos - Johnny Bush

Eatin' Up All The Food

The Scrapple Song - Robbie Fulks

Save the Bones For Henry Jones - Nat King Cole Trio

Holy Cow! - Think Tree

A Wonderful, Magical Animal

Church - Lyle Lovett

Simcha Time - Mickey Katz

Hamburgers!

Trust Me For a Hamburger - Washboard Rhythm Kings

Animal Crackers In My Soup - Shirley Temple

The Flavorful Road Runner

The Chicken Song - Ernest Tubb & Red Foley

Proclaimation/Nobody Here But Us Chickens - Louis Jordan

The Land of Chocolate

Hot Chocolate - Shonen Knife

Fried Potatoes - Rose Maddox

Heinz Baked Beans - The Who

Beans and Cornbread - Louis Jordan

Shortnin' Bread - The Andrews Sisters

You Want Bread?

DL it right here.

(it's a big file, over 100 mb, so be warned if you're on a crappy connection)

Slower on YouTube

A couple people asked about putting up some Slower on here. I'm still trying to track down a half-way decent copy of the live set we did on WMBR's Pipeline show. It could take some time, I'm not even sure a good copy exists anymore.

In the meantime, here's a home-made video that Jeff put together for the song "Felix".

As a song, it's a pretty good example of the basic idea behind Slower: Abrasive music with ridiculously silly (and poorly sung) lyrics. We had songs about roach motels, songs based on punchlines to jokes (...because they can!) and songs that were about kicking people out of the band and taking over their spot as vocalist (purely fictional, of course). This particular song is all about the pussy.

Felix:

Some Things Should Not Be Said Out Loud

Many years ago, shortly after we were married, my wife asked me a question.

She said, "Honey, when you think about me physically, do you think about any one part of me more than the others?"

Well, I wasn't exactly sure what to say. I mean, this isn't the sort of question one is asked every day, and I didn't want to a) offend my young wife or b) sound like some sort of a pervert.

After about 15 seconds of careful consideration I gave her my answer:

"Honey, I think of you as a whole."

Tears of a Clown

Back in about probably '86 or '87, I recorded this with some of my friends from school. It's a gloomy pissed-off version of Smokey Robinson's song "Tears of a Clown".  If I had done it a few years later, the guitars would have been heavier and louder. Apart from that, I still like it.

Nick White is playing drums, I think John Neil is playing piano and workin' that sampler, I'm playing bass, guitar and singing. Chris Brown did the engineering.

It's pretty funny, I think. If you've got anything to say, please be gentle!

Pagliacci!